His Other Day Job
by VioTanequil
Summary: Abarai Renji had never believed in taicho-fukutaicho bonding. Well, excuse me, if your taicho happened to be the same taicho which he had, then yes, bonding was completely out of the question. Completely out of the question. Sequel to Breakdown.
1. Crappity Crap Crap

Abarai Renji had never believed in taicho-fukutaicho bonding. Well, excuse me, if your taicho happened to be the same taicho which he had, then yes, bonding was completely out of the question. Gee. How were you supposed to bond with an ice-block? It was not possible, completely unattainable, and oh Kami, why him? (Of course, Renji happily ignored the fact that he had jumped at the chance to be the Great and Honorable Kuchiki taicho's fukutaicho.)

Which was why, when the order (Well, not really an order, more like a suggested idea which was whispered from fukutaicho to fukutaicho, and having a sinister underlying threat if it was not carried out) came around, he found himself completely stumped. What the heck was he supposed to get for a guy who honestly, had everything he needed, and had the money to buy whatever he wanted whenever. (Yes, he suspected that the taicho was indeed rich enough to purchase Seireitei. I mean, dude, his scarf was how expensive again?)

And as such, he just could not picture Kuchiki-taicho being pleased with anything that anyone got for him. Hell, even Rukia had a hard time buying the guy birthday gifts, and she had been his sister for how many years already? (And if anyone wanted to know, Kuchiki Byakuya had a rack down in the wine cellar, on which was placed forty-nine bottles of wine. Forty-nine bottles of wine which had been the most recommended ones in the year that they had been purchased.) Now, he, Abarai Renji, stray dog extraordinaire, had to get something for the guy, and he was absolutely clueless. Abso-fucking-lutely clueless.

There was no one he could ask, because all the fukutaichos had been sworn to secrecy, and since the gift-giving to the taichos was supposed to be a cooperative exercise carried out in the utmost blah blah blah, which meant that it was supposed to be secret, and as such, he could not ask any of the people who would have known what Kuchiki-taicho would have liked. (Like Ukitake-taicho, or Yoruichi-san, or Urahara that bastard.)

Ah well. He was just going to have to settle with getting him... a sword or something. The office could do with some decoration. In the case that he didn't like the sword, well, at least it was just a sword. Maybe he'd see some Sixth Division shinigami with it a year or two later. But hopefully taicho would not be too uptight. It was a sword, and well, swords were supposed to be used, no? And besides, this sword would be easy to obtain. He did know this place in Rukongai where he had helped out when he had been younger…

* * *

A smirk as he tied up his hair with a strip of cloth, changing into a set of clothes he borrowed off someone else sometime in the past decade or so. There were little tears here and there in the sleeves, but the yukata was still wearable, and he liked it, anyway. Popping a straw hat onto his head, just to add to the illusion. he checked that what he needed was in the basket, making sure the food, the toys, the sweets were all there, the smirk morphed into an all out grin. Sneaking out of the house was easy. Too easy. After all, he'd done this many times before. He was the one who assigned the guard duty; of course he would know how to get past it.

It was a very simple task to slip out of Seireitei, to slip into Rukongai. The Sixth district, the same place he had been visiting for the past few weeks. Not too violent, not too barbaric such that he would be forced to reveal himself, but yet not well off enough for him to travel completely unarmed. A hidden tanto up his sleeve, the left sleeve, for easier access provided a semblance of safety. And it is good training, really. It is, after all, easy to over-rely on one's zanpakuto, and when one's zanpakuto is not there anymore, then one has no choice but to go back to the basics. It is good training.

He inclined his head politely to the shopkeepers he passed by on the way to the same gathering spot. They grinned and waved back at him. Such a polite young man, always stopping to chat with them on the way home. They all know why he's here, and they know that to delay him would be to delay the children's time, because everyone knows that children should not be out after dark.

So they just waved, and he waved back, smiling as he continued on his way down the dusty streets. Not wearing the normal tabi, a pair of geta clicked loudly as he walked down the street, basket carried like a tea farmer would carry his precious tea leaves. He had gotten a nice new tin whistle for little Scamp who had broken his previous one while falling out of a tree, as well as a paper ball for Fish to share amongst the boys.

A set of small, identical wooden dolls, for Suko as well. And not to mention snacks, sweets, and some food. He tried not to eat in front of them, for fear of showing that he was a shinigami, but he knew they were not stupid, and had probably already guessed anyway. He turned a corner, waiting near the brick wall as he watched them laugh and play in the afternoon sun.

"Back again, Chojiro?" Yes, yes, it was not the most innovative of names, but it was true. He was the first son after all, and never mind the fact that the Lieutenant of the First Division was called Chojiro as well. (Then again, everyone called him Sasakibe, so it really wasn't too bad) It was a common enough name, anyway. He had been leaning towards calling himself Ichiro, but then that sounded a little too close to someone else, didn't it?

"Good day to you too, Heiji." A chuckle as the big man came over, patting him on the back. "It's nice to see you here, Jiro. Sometimes, with all the kids, we don't really know what to do. We can never thank you enough for coming down from the Fifth district to come see us."

"Mm." He never acknowledged it, the Fifth district thing, instead just smiling. He supposed that they had gone around asking, and since he always came through the Fifth district, they had probably assumed him to be from there. No matter. If they wanted to assume that of him, then it really did save him the trouble of having to make up a story and a fake history to go with that. He did suspect that they suspected that he was not who he seemed. But it did not matter. It was not really important anyway.

"Eeee! Jiro-san!" So they had noticed him. Funny thing, that Chojiro meant first son, and yet when shortened, it meant second. He never bothered to point out the difference to them, because really, why should it matter? Waving at the departing Heiji, he sat down on the same rock he had sat on the previous week, tugging the hat off to reveal smiling grey eyes.

He surveyed the small group of children, about eight of them, really. He frowned slightly. "Hm… Where's Fishy-kun?" He did not see the taller boy who normally hung around them, staying a little back, claiming that he was too old for all this, yet still joined in with a big smile every time they needed the correct number of people to play.

Little Yuji spoke up. "Aniki's working with Izumo-san up on the hill." Ah, the blacksmith's. A worthy profession for the child who had been intrigued by metal-crafting ever since he had bought the little one a small metal monkey. "He comes down at about six though, Jiro-san. We'll be able to play ball when he comes back. Aniki's the best goalkeeper we've ever had. But then, he'd have eaten already, so it wouldn't be fair to play against him because he'll be so full he can't play, right?" He chuckled.

"Then, to even the odds out, we can eat first then play later, hm? We can eat now, then by the time Fishy-kun come's back, we'll be just nice, just in time to play with him. Or we could just send somebody up to go tell him that Jiro-san brought dinner again, no?" With a dramatic flourish which he had seen, observed and learnt from a pink haori clad captain, he whisked out the basket. "But first things first."

He slowly opened the top, making sure to be extra-faux-secretive so that they could not see what was inside. "I got you all some things!" The happy smiles, the giggles and the tugging of his sleeve were all a great reward for such small things, as he handed out the whistle to Scamp, as well as marbles to the other boys. The boys were engrossed in the new clear marbles, as he motioned for the only girl, Suko, to come over.

Pressing the small set of dolls into her hand, he smiled at the huge grin on her face as she hugged him, grinning from ear to ear before she rushed off back into the little house to keep her things. The poor thing was growing up in an environment, that excluding the Obaa-san that took care of them all, was entirely male. Sure, he was male as well, but dolls were really a no-brainer. Most girls liked the stuff, so it was rather easy to obtain it.

He sat there patiently as he waited for them to go keep their newfound goodies. He did not bring them new toys often, this was the second time he had done so after nine weeks, so it was not really spoiling them. They were simple things, whistles, tops and marbles for the guys, and dolls and small wooden teacups for Suko. When the last one, little Scamp, had put his shiny new whistle back with his other things, and had come back, he stood up with yet another newly-acquired flourish. They giggled, but he merely grinned back at them, sticking out a tongue.

"Wanna play Ice and Water!" A voice proclaimed happily, and the other children nodded, eager faces turned towards him. Kozei grinned, arms akimbo as he pointed a finger at the adult. "Ice and Water in slo-mo, 'cos or else you'd win, Jiro-san."

He raised an eyebrow, before pouting. "But what if it's only me against all of you?" Their faces lit up, grinning gleefully as they shot up from their seats, interpreting the lack of any objections, any obvious objections, as consent.

"Okay! Then no slo-mo!" And the game began. Reaching out, he purposely missed little Scamp, diving to the ground in an undignified heap which had all the children giggling happily. Standing up, he brushed at the now soil-stained yukata in an extremely exaggerated dignified manner, which had them all howling with laughter. He then reached out and tagged Kozei, the little one having been standing too near to him.

A triumphant grin on his face as they scowled at him, indignant at the fact that he had used such a trick to snag one of their teammates. They were now down to only six people, and they circled him, trying to find a way to unfreeze their teammate, now immobilized by the rules of the game. Scamp lunged wildly in, nearly tripping on a stone, had he not been caught, tagged, and placed on his feet again.

However, in that time, Suko had dodged in and Kozei was now running around, a wide grin on his face. It was time to up the stakes then. Reaching out, he tagged Ota, who had yet again, strayed too close. The children sighed in frustration, now that their team was only five strong. The game continued, him always having tagged at least one child at the time. There was the time when he had gotten five of them, but once he had reached out for the sixth, wily little Scamp had ducked in and unfrozen Tetsuo, Hizu and Yuji.

They had played, until they were all tired, and he was tired from having had to dodge the children so that the game would be fun for them. On a normal day, he was playing seriously, it would have been ridiculously easy to tag all of them. But that was not the point, was it? He reached a hand out for the straw hat, placing it back on his head. No chances, he was taking no chances. (Yes, he was paranoid. So there.)

Collapsing in a sweaty heap in the center of the grass patch, he chuckled as one by one they fought to try and find the best place on his stomach. Really now, he had not realized that he was such a comfortable pillow. Giggling as his stomach rumbled, the children squirmed around as he chuckled from the tickles of their hair on his stomach. They only sat up when Hizu called out to Sakana-kun, whom everyone just called Fish. (Or Fishy. Or Koi.(Like Koi Pond, Koi?))

"Ah, Fishy-kun! Just in time for dinner!" He called out happily, before blinking at the person standing slightly behind Fish, grinning and waving at the bunch of children. "Jiro-san? I brought a friend with me! Hope there's dinner enough to go around! He seems like he's quite a big eater, eh, Abarai-san?" Fish beamed, obviously pleased that he had made an adult friend.

Damnit. He knew he should have picked Seventh district instead of Sixth. Urgh. What were the chances? Damn Fish. Stupid kid. Of all the ways he could possibly repay the kindness of the metal monkey (as such, crafting a bright and glorious future for the kid), he picked this way, that of blowing his benefactor's cover. Thank god he knew how to suppress reiatsu so well that there was naught a trace about him, and thank god his disguise was so out of character that it was not likely that he would be guessed.

Please, Kami-sama, let Renji be stupid.

Kuchiki Byakuya tugged the hat further down, half covering his eyes, and prayed.

* * *

Sorry! I know I shouldn't be starting so many fics at once, but the ideas just keep coming! The other stories will be finished; they are not being abandoned. Do bear with me. :)


	2. Trouble Comes A Callin'

Praying did not make the over-sized red monkey next to Fishy disappear. Yes, Renji was still there. Regrettably. Oh well, at least this was a good chance to see what monkey-man was like outside of the office. Sighing very softly so that no one noticed, he got up from his seat, giving Renji a short bow as was customary when greeting strangers. Thank goodness he had been interacting in Rukongai for sometime already. Otherwise, he knew that he would have found it completely inappropriate to bow to his subordinate.

In any case, a smile came to his face as Renji gave a short bow back. "Abarai Renji. Pleased ta meet ya." Hm… So apparently he had manners after all. What a surprise. Grinning at the thought of completely bamboozling his lieutenant, he replied politely, but not nearly as stern or as cold as he pretended to be on normal days. "Hasegawa Chojiro desu. Likewise."

Turning to the kids, he gestured for them to come over, seeing as Fishy had been grabbed over to one side by Obaa-san, to prepare the table. "Yuji, Kozei, Ota, Hizu, Tetsuo, Suko and Scamp." They waved happily at Renji, who grinned broadly at them, bending down and lifting Suko up to sit on his shoulders. Byakuya had bite back a particularly stubborn snigger as the little girl tugged happily at his red hair. Priceless. Oh, if only he had one of those camera things that the Shinigami Women's Association was trying to use to take a picture of him. Oh well.

Letting Kozei lead the way back to the house, he grinned as they gathered around Renji, tugging at the black shihakusho, yanking at his sandals, climbing up and down, poking at the tattoos and leaving fingerprints on his goggles. Byakuya smirked, Heiji chuckled as Renji merely shrugged and followed them all into the house. "Kozei!" Byakuya's voice rang out as the little kid reached for the sticky buns on the table. He saw Renji jump.

Renji blinked. That voice. It was familiarly scary. Then again, anyone who so much as raised their voice and was male sounded like Kuchiki taicho to him. Scary. He then remembered that Kuchiki Byakuya did not actually raise his voice, and was much reassured. Phew. Thank goodness.

"Wash your hands, kiddo. Wouldn't want you to come down with something nasty, would we?" Byakuya gave a reassuring smile to the kid, who shrugged, stuck out his tongue but dashed out the door to wash his hands. Byakuya sighed, relieved partly that he would not be in trouble, and partly that Renji had not noticed. That was a close one. A very close one.

"Sorry about that." He flashed a grin in Renji's direction. Geez, this acting business was tiring. "Sometimes I forget they aren't actually my kids…" He grinned sheepishly, tilting his hat, before he removed it. Thank goodness his hair was tied up in a ponytail. Hanging his hat at the back of his chair, he sat down at the table and was about to reach for a sticky bun when something hard came into contact with the back of his hand.

"Hasegawa-san." Oh crap. _He_ had forgotten to wash his hands. Looking embarrassed, because by the gods, he had just forgotten to do the thing he had just scolded a kid about, (And in front of them too.) he scampered off in the direction of the tub of water, ducking away from Obaa-san's watchful (and angry) gaze. Rinsing his hands, he took in a sharp breath as he sensed Renji coming over. This was bad. Please, please, let he not have realised. He would never live this down. Never.

(It was true that he could easily intimidate Renji into not telling, but from what he had heard, and these were very reliable sources, Renji was particularly talkative when drunk. It was not a good idea to tell him something that you did not want the whole world knowing. Then again, this seemed so preposterous that he doubted that most would believe Renji. But, better to be safe than sorry.)

"Yo, Hasegawa-san." Leaning against the brick wall, Renji grinned good naturedly at the person who happened to be the last person on earth or in Seireitei who wanted to see him at the moment in time.

"Abarai-san." He turned, grinning, seemingly pleased. Truth be told, he was currently trying to figure out a way of escaping. Funny, this. He had this weird feeling of being cornered, and he did not like it. (Hell no, Kuchiki Byakuya did the cornering. He was not cornered.)

"You know, you remind me of someone."

SHIT. Raising his eyebrows, his eyes widened. (In surprise.) Thank goodness for Kuchiki acting. Thank goodness he had known Yoruichi and her lot. Thank god for poker.

"Really? Who?"

"Have you heard of Kuchiki Byakuya?" He nearly bit his tongue in half. "That name… sounds familiar…" Here he paused thoughtfully. (Faux-thoughtfully, actually, though not that Renji could tell. At least, he really hoped not.)

"He's that Gotei 13 Captain who won't come down to Rukongai no matter what, right? That noble guy?" He was digging his own grave, and he knew it. Once again, thank god for boring politics lessons. His acting skills were good. Hopefully, they would be good enough to dupe Renji.

There was a scowl on Renji's face. Yes! It had worked! He had successfully changed the topic slightly. "Yeah… I tried to tell taicho once or twice that Rukongai isn't such a bad place. He doesn't believe me." If only you could see me now, Renji. If only you could see me now. (Well, technically, he could be seen, and Renji could see him. He just did not know that the supposedly poor peasant in front of him was his taicho. Thank goodness.)

"In any case, you remind me of taicho."

"I do? He doesn't sound like a me kind of guy." Of course he did not sound like him. He was him. That was the difference.

A chuckle as Renji bent down to wash his hands. "Nah, you just look like him. That's all. Funny though. He'd probably throw a fit if he knew." No, he wouldn't, Renji. He wouldn't. He'd just look at you as if you had grown a second head. Meanwhile, Byakuya quirked a smile, relieved, which Renji took to be laughing at his taicho. Oh, if only he knew.

"What's taking you boys so long?!" Jumping, the two of them grinned sheepishly before entering the house.

Dinner was a rather good affair, secretly provided by the Kuchiki household kitchen, not that anyone present would know it, though. A few large dishes, crackers and small bowls of rice were laid around the table. Byakuya pretended to not be hungry. He was supposed to keep up the I'm-not-a-shinigami charade, and now that Renji was here, it was even more important. Meanwhile, Renji, in that very obvious black shihakusho, was not bothering to keep the fact that he was hungry a secret.

Happily shoveling food down his gullet, Renji noted that the food tasted better than even those at the mess hall. Hm… Maybe it was because people sold food for a living and that was why it was better? Then again… Why would anyone have access to good food in Rukongai? They didn't need to eat it. This was interesting. He cast his glance over at Hasegawa-san.

There was something about the man that put Renji at unease. He felt funny around the guy. (No, not that kind of funny. Eew. Disgusting thought. No, no, he was s-t-r-a-i-g-h-t. As straight as a…. chopstick. Yeah.) Never mind. "Say, Hasegawa-san? What do you do for a living?" There was something about the man that made him want to know more. There was sure to be some form of secret somewhere, and he, Abarai Renji, was definitely going to find it out.

Looking up from the plate of vegetables, Byakuya chewed and swallowed, looking back at Renji. "Maa, nothing interesting to a shinigami as yourself." He grinned, before going back to his food. His was practically starving after that exaggerated tag game. Damn you, Renji. "I'm a trader, you know, get hold of this and that." He winked. "Need anything?"

It had been the easiest way out. It was true that he could get hold of practically anything. He was Kuchiki Byakuya. He had the capability to get his hands on anything, anything, as long as he wanted it enough. (Which most of the time, he did not. Want only what you need, a very simple motto.)

"Yeah," piped up Scamp. "I broke my whistle last month, and Jiro-san got me a new one." He beamed. "And we got marbles from him today, and tops the other time." Byakuya shrugged, grinning sheepishly as he attempted to fit into the shopkeeper stereotype. Geez, acting was hard work.

There was a heavy knock on the door, and it burst open with a crash. Five men, looking surprisingly like the ones he had knocked out the other time, stood at the threshold. The children ducked behind furniture and were quickly shepherded out of the house by Heiji, helping Obaa-san along. A quick nod to Byakuya, and they were out of the room.

Renji had risen from his seat, a scowl on his face, hand at his hip. Ah, Zabimaru. Thank goodness he had not brought Senbonzakura. He would have had the temptation to use her, and possibly reveal everything. Hands going up his sleeves, he did his best Shunsui imitation and tried to look vaguely interested. In fact, he was feeling for the tanto which he was sure had been there just moments ago. Crap. He remembered a silver something drop out of his sleeve earlier, a silver glint in the sun. That would mean that it was somewhere out there in the field. Great. Just great. (And it wasn't cheap too.)

Mentally, he tallied the odds. On any normal day, this would have been as easy as breathing. It would have been so easy that Senbonzakura just might have been insulted. Problem was, how was he supposed to not reveal anything and yet ensure the safety of both himself and his fukutaicho, who did not know he was _his_ fukutaicho? Unarmed combat might give him away. Oh well, he supposed that any upstanding trader would naturally have the ability to defend himself. That would allow him to help. Though, hopefully, Renji would be able to defend himself. Ah well.

The largest one stepped forward, pointing a pudgy finger at Renji. "_Shinigami_. What's scum like ya doin' here?" It was clear that he was looking for a fight. Byakuya was sure that the food looked particularly appealing to the pig, and had he not been so obsessed over wanting to beat Renji up, he was sure that the idiot would be drooling. Oh wait. Cut the glare, Kuchiki! Renji will realize once he sees your face.

"Scum? I was eating." A sneer came over Renji's face as he whipped out Zabimaru, the latter dying to do some serious damage to the people who had not only interrupted his meal, but damaged the door and scared the children. "Have a problem with that?" He hefted Zabimaru menacingly.

The thugs looked particularly confused. Oh well. Now Byakuya had proof of the existence of stupidity that was ten levels below Renji. He had previously thought that impossible, seeing as Renji tended to be a little slow even on the best of days. The largest thug merely scowled and rushed at Renji. His other counterparts joined in, two of them skirting around the left side of the table, and the other two attempting to skirt around the right side.

Attempted to. Funny this, Byakuya never recalled ever having learnt to become invisible. As such, when they came barreling in his direction, pathetic katanas raised to get ready for a downward slashing motion, he sidestepped them, seemingly moving out of the way. One of the idiots even grinned in his direction. Just as they whooshed past him, one felt a fist to the back of his head, and the other was felled with a foot to his posterior. Crashing to the ground, the second thug blinked at him. Had he been remotely more intelligent, he _might _have said "Et tu, Brute?" But sadly, no Shakespeare for these guys.

Byakuya gave the second one a punch to the back of the head. How ironic. He could still feel the slight receding scar on the back of his head where they had hit him the other time. Looking over to Renji, he saw that the largest thug seemed to be on the floor, and there was quite a lot of blood around. Darn. Clean up was not going to be fun or easy. The other two thugs were clutching their stomachs, and he assumed that Renji had either hit them or kicked them. As long as it worked, who was he to question Renji's methods?

What kind of guy was this Hasegawa-san? In the time that Renji had brought Zabimaru in front of him to block the wild swing and lunge of Thug No. Largest, and kicked the other two in the stomach, the unarmed trader had felled two thugs, both of whom had been armed with katanas, albeit flimsy ones, but still. This was interesting. he was going to have to visit Rukongai more often. If there were people like this out there, maybe he could negotiate some form of deal. It would be nice to learn from him and then go show up Kuchiki-taicho. Hah.

"Maa… I must have dropped my tanto somewhere." He grinned sheepishly at Renji, showing his hands. "Would have smacked them on the head with a plate, but I don't think Obaa-san would like that." He blinked at the queer look on Renji's face. Oh no. Had he overdone it? Had it been too quick, too neat? Oh dear. Looking concerned, he further pushed the matter, seeing as he was not really sure what else he could do. Changing the topic, or at least steering it in another direction seemed like the right way to go about doing it. "Abarai-san? Is something the matter?"

"Uh? Oh. Nah." Scary this. For a moment there, he looked like Kuchiki-taicho. Sheesh, Renji. What's wrong with you?

* * *

Author's Note: No, this is not going to be yaoi. I know there seem to be some hints of it, but no.


	3. And All Good Things Come To An End

Watching the stranger out from the corner of his eyes as they went about cleaning up the area, Renji mentally smacked himself about the head. It was obvious to anyone, really, and it should have been even more so to him, being the lieutenant of the person in question. On hindsight, as they scrubbed away at the floor, he could not quite understand how he had missed it.

Yes, the reiatsu emitted was so faint that it was almost not there, but the signal itself, now that he had properly concentrated and was properly concentrated, was unmistakable. Completely and utterly unmistakable. He knew who it was immediately. But still, this was going to be fun to watch. Taicho was so completely out of character, so utterly not himself that had Renji not recognized the signature as that of the man he was going to surpass, he would have been duped.

But he was not duped. He had recognized it, and his adrenaline pumped brain, from the fight previously, had registered it and was chewing over it. The implications of this were just beginning to surface, and he was desperately trying to remember when he had last done something blackmail-able. He could not quite remember that, and could not quite keep a satisfied smile from his face. Hah!

As such, it was Kuchiki Byakuya's unlucky day. Or at least, whatever was left of the day was going to be his unlucky day. And hah! Renji was going to have so much fun. He smirked slightly to himself, before quailing under the stern glance of Obaa-san, who had returned from the little hideout to supervise the cleaning process. Eep.

Byakuya scrubbed away at the floor, being rather unused to menial labor, but finding that it was not as difficult as he had heard. There was this certain way one went about things that made it easier to do, like scrubbing along the grain of the wood and not across it. The bloodstains came off easily, especially since they were still fresh and not sunk into the wood yet. The four unconscious and one dead thug had been deposited some distance away from the hut, courtesy of Heiji and Izumo from up on the hill.

The after dinner activities were simple, they played a few non-gambling card games, with Renji teaching the whole room a few more borderline gambling ones. Kozei seemed to have found a new idol in the red-haired lieutenant, sticking to him like a limpet and refusing to let go, clinging onto every word eagerly. An image of Rikichi popped into Byakuya's head. Now, the poor hero worshipper had competition for Renji's attention. Nope, nope, nope. He did not like that mental image at all. Not at all.

And then the kids were put to bed, with Byakuya getting ready to leave. He hoped that Renji would leave first, which would allow for him to make it back to Seireitei without being caught. However, it would seem that Renji had no such ideas. Currently, Heiji, Izumo, Byakuya and Renji were seated around a short table, cards in hand as they gambled away. Poker was such an interesting game, and he was exceptionally good at it, what having a natural poker face and all, not to mention the countless practices he had had at the expense of others.

Good fun. He was now slightly richer than usual. Yes, it was possible for him to be richer than usual. He did not usually carry money around with him, and did not usually flaunt his wealth either. The extra coins, mostly earned from Renji for that man had the most expressive poker face he had ever seen (and he had played with the Shibas, so he did know what he was talking about), rested happily in a small pile at his side of the table.

And eventually, Izumo called it a night, leaving and dragging Heiji with him. Byakuya indicated to Renji, and Obaa-san in the corner who was doing some stitching, that he was going to leave as well. Please, please, let Renji not follow… Darn. His lieutenant had gotten up, stretched and made a big show of it being late, muttering something about not wanting to be late for work the next day. Hah. If only Renji actually showed this enthusiasm in the office.

As he had left the hut, with Obaa-san reminding him to come again as soon as he could, he noticed Renji following him closely, always a step behind. He did not like this at all. Please, please, let Renji not have realized. Crossing his fingers, it was then that he realized that somehow, he was going to have to shake Renji off, and he had no idea whatsoever as to how it was that he was going to achieve that.

Firstly, no, he did not have a home in Fifth district. He had been intending to purchase one so that he could bring the kids over, but no, he had not yet purchased it. And yes, he did regret that decision. Secondly, Renji was as stubborn as Kurosaki, which did say a lot about him. This would mean that he would have to be some really good distraction, which with the amount of sake in his system currently, he was incapable of coming up with.

In other words, he was in trouble. Deep trouble. He had no idea how to shake Renji off. Perhaps checking into an inn might work? Casting a glance behind him, he noticed that said lieutenant had an abnormally wide grin on his face, and was looking positively predatory. Now, that was a scary thought. Oh well… No choice then. He was really going to have to check into an inn, and pray that Renji did not notice him when he shunpoed off in the middle of the night.

Turning around the corner, he bid a quick farewell to Renji, breathing a sigh of relief as the lieutenant made no move to stop him, merely nodding slightly. A few steps into the empty lane, he was halted in his tracks by a voice.

"Ne, Kuchiki-taicho," A triumphant pause as he froze, hand halfway to his hat, to stabilize it before shunpoing away, his newfound method to escaping Renji. "Just when were you going to tell me?" Oh yeah… Renji 1, Taicho 0.

_If I had my way, never?_ Byakuya was stumped. He could not think of a polite and logical response to the answer. He was surprised to hear a chuckle, and realized rather belatedly that he had said that aloud. Damn. This was why he did not usually drink in the company of others. He had this annoying tendency of embarrassing himself. Hm… Now that his cover had been blown, he could revert back to his "normal" self, and give Renji a dressing down. But somehow, he did not quite feel like it. Damn.

"When did you notice?" He knew the question sounded weak and rather pathetic, but it was all he could manage at the moment. His mind was completely blank. All the thinking, all the activity, everything had completely drained him. Not to mention, it was really late, some time after midnight, and although he did enjoy late night walks, it was because he had been sufficiently rested.

He was not sufficiently rested, and could currently think of nothing other than his nice futon and pillow back at Kuchiki manor. It did not help matters that he had had much to drink, and was half drunk, well on his way to becoming drunk, and as we all know, most people lose control and all sense and sensibility when they are drunk. As such, he was not capable of coming up with anything remotely more intelligent than that rather weak and pathetic half-retort.

"After the fight." Renji grinned broadly. "Wasn't too difficult once I concentrated. Your reiatsu signature is too distinctive." A triumphant smirk on his face as he paused for a moment before continuing.

"Why were ya so concerned about hiding your identity? 'S not like there's anything I can do about it, or that I'll do about it. You're afraid of your reputation?" Another thoughtful pause. "What are you doing in Rukongai, anyways, taicho? 'S not like you to be in Rukongai in the first place."

Silence. Renji blinked.

"Uh, taicho?" He did the little Rikichi shuffle thing which Byakuya found annoying. Extremely annoying. So annoying that had said kid not been so useful or good at what he did, the Renji wannabe would have found himself transferred out faster than you could say "shuffle". As such, he merely gritted his teeth slightly, exhaling.

"I was relaxing."

"Ano… relaxing?" Now Renji looked confused, this bamboozled look of a complete and utter lack of understanding on his face. Or at least, he looked kind of disbelieving. Well, Byakuya preferred the first option. It made more sense. (Then again, he did have to remind himself that Renji was not nearly as stupid as he had thought he was. Okay, okay. Renji was not stupid.)

"You of all people should know that I do not like to repeat myself."

"Um… Hai, taicho." A short pause as Renji scratched nervously at his head. "But… relaxing?"

"Simple language. What is so difficult to comprehend?"

"Ah… maybe it's because I cannot picture taicho relaxing?" His hands shot right up into the air as Byakuya turned a cold glare his way. "Pardon, taicho, but you're not the most lax person, ya know?"

"Thank you, Captain Obvious."

Renji blinked, before a huge grin spread across his face. "Ne, taicho. I never figured you to have a sense of humor."

"Neither did I."

Renji was gaping openly at the very amused Kuchiki Byakuya. (Hah! Kuchiki 1, Renji 1.) Stunned into speechlessness, they walked on in the direction of Seireitei, before they rounded a corner and came face to face with a very familiar face.

"R-Renji?"

"Rukia? What'cha doin here?"

"Aiyee! Renji? Is that…"

"Yup!"

"What's he doing here? I thought… I thought…"

"You thought he never steps into Rukongai? Yeah. So did I."

"I do not recall disappearing into thin air."

"Aw, don't be a spoilsport, taicho."

"Cease that whining, Renji. It is incredibly unbecoming."

"But taicho…"

Silence as they walked in the direction of Seireitei. (Walking because it had been instilled into him that it was rude to flaunt your talents, and he was definitely better at shunpo. Definitely. Most definitely.)

"Taicho?" Byakuya turned his head fractionally in his direction. A semi-annoyed look. Completely unperturbed, Renji plowed on, a cheeky grin on his face.

"I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

"I'd rather not."

* * *

And that's the end, folks! I know it's kind of short and all, but it seemed appropriate to end it here. Of course, I'm open to suggestions if you guys want it to be longer.

Cheers,  
Tan


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